I just wanted to let you all know that I am closing down this blog. Thank you to everyone who has read my posts and has taken time to leave a comment. Your comments have always helped me move forward in my healing process and I am so grateful for every word I've read. This blog, and all its readers, have been my support group. Thank you so much for all your support. I will miss you on this blog.
But I am no longer a Sudden Widow. I have been a widow for almost 29 months. I miss Austin as much today as I did the horrible day he died. Actually, I miss him more. The shock has totally worn off and reality is harsh. I ache with the grief and I still think about him every moment of every day.
But my life must go on, for the sake of our sons and myself. Austin would want this and I don't honour our love and the wonderful memories I have by allowing myself to be swallowed in this grief. I will love Austin forever and I hope to one day find love again. But I'm not ready to even begin looking for it. What I am ready to do is to look to the future while living in the moment. I will always be surrounded by wonderful memories of Austin and the time I was lucky enough to be his best friend and wife.
I look forward to continuing to be in touch with many of you on Facebook. Our friendships are incredibly important to me and will always be significant in my life. I'm just signing off as Sudden Widow. I don't feel like that woman anymore. I'm a widow, but I'm so much more than that broken woman who first wrote back in April of '09. I'm back to being Debbie. It's a new version of me, but me all the same. Thank you for taking this part of my journey with me. You have helped me in more ways than you know.
Bye for now.
10 comments:
Debbie - I've been lurking for quite a while and just wanted to tell you that I so resonate with this post. My journey into widowhood began 32 months ago (I actually had to count that up...hope that's a good sign!) and I, too, am more than I was on that horrible day. And I'm moving forward. Would love to be Facebook friends - you can find me at www dot facebook dot com slash ccoepugh.
Best wishes as you continue your journey.
Carol
Much love to you, my dear! :-)
Thank you so much Deb for all you have shared during your difficult journey. I am pleased for you that you are ready to move on, yet understand that moving on to the next phase doesn't mean the pain is gone.
They say people often come into our lives for a season, my season with you has been a time of growth. I am on facebook under my name Tricia Bertram, a friend set it up for me 'cause I am not very 'puter literate but if you happen to find me I would love you to pop by some time. I often have a Teddy Bear picture as my facebook ID, cause that's how I roll.
With love and good wishes to you and your boys and gratitude for your long distance presence in my life.
hugs
Tricia
This really resonates with me too. I think it is almost time for me to let go of my blog too and enter life again. I hear the courage in your voice and feel it in my heart.
I'm proud to call you my friend and love you lots, you know that right?
xxx
bye for now.
- I'm on boo's, dan's, and cadi's friend list if you want to fb.
I love this so much - I love that you wrote you are no longer the broken woman who first began writing in the beginning...I believe we all found each other at that stage, and its amazing to see and a testament to the power of love (sorry for sounding cheesy,) that we can finally say the words we never thought we'd see. Hope to stay in contact with you Debbie, all the best and all my love. xoxo
As others have said, your words have also resonated with me (widow for 29 months, 10 year old daughter at home, Saskatchewan girl). May the music undergird you in your continued journey. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you all for all your kindness. I am in tears reading your inspiring words and I will miss hearing from you on this blog. It just feels right in my soul to move past the identity of Sudden Widow. I hope to stay in touch with all of you on Facebook.
But I did say to Chelsea tonight that maybe I'll start another blog 'cause I still like being able to write and communicate with so many people who I never would know without this forum. If I do, I'll let you know here or on FB. Just need to move away from the Sudden Widow identity. Kim, I think you are exactly right. We found each other when we needed people who we could relate to and support us through the darkest times in our life. I am so grateful that I did. I wouldn't be where I am today without that support. Thank you all.
Love you Deb. I'm also trying to decide which direction I'm heading in, and if blogging is going to be a part of it. I must say that it has been amazing to share in share in each other's journey, and I don't believe I would be doing as well as I am without these connections.
Dan
Deb,
I was always more a lurker than a frequent commenter here - but have followed your journey almost from the beginning and read the comments you have left at other blogs. I understand the need to move forward - yes, our lives must move on into new territory and that sometimes means leaving one thing to move toward another. If the urge to write remains, I would encourage you to start another blog - and yes, do let us know! By the way - I have always loved the Mark Twain quote that is posted in your header - for sure, they are words for all of us to live by. I wish you and your sons the best as you carry onward. Take care, bev (from JTTC)
Post a Comment